It hurts so much to want something so bad but you just can't have it. And it's not like I didn't work hard enough or I gave up cause if that were the case, I can beat myself up for it. But it's because I cannot do it. My body doesn't have the capacity to do it and it sucks so much cause I want to push myself but I just can't. And I feel crappy.

Today has been seriously crappy as you can tell. First GP results sucked like shit. And I know I passed and I shouldn't be complaining when there's people failing but that isn't my standard and I know I'm capable of so much more. I'm not bragging but my results this time is 10 marks below what I usually get so I feel very crappy,thank you. And then it was PE. Jesus, I just can't bear to talk about it.

And I chanced upon a song that helped me through today and I've listened to it 3 times today so I hope you guys like it too. (:


When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be. Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be.

And when the night is cloudy,
There is still a light that shines on me,
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be.
There will be an answer, let it be.
Let it be, let it be,
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be