It's amazing how I can go from one extreme pole to another in a matter of hours. This morning I felt another mini burnout creeping up on me and now, after looking my my motivational mosiac, I feel so focused, ready to fight back. I guess that's the reason why I created my motivational mosiac in the first place, to help me push through in desperate times of doubt and fear. Can't wait for this week to be over. Then I can finally get some well-deserved rest. Clocked in only 30 hours in the past 7 days so do the math. I'm so tired my inner core is aching. Plus the stress is making me eat at irregular timings and missing meals cuz I just don't feel like eating and end up skipping lunch. Plus the horrible breakout on my face. :( Okay, finally going to resign to my bed for a minimum 7 hour sleep. The first of its kind in weeeeeeks. G'night!

And all I've left to consider is where your loyalty lies.

My reflections are protections
They will keep me from destruction
My directions are distractions
When you're ready come into the light

You know how most people begin writing their songs by first composing the melody and then finding the appropriate words to put in? I guess that's the norm, the convention.

For me, I always found it easier to come up with the lyrics first and then find the right sound to accompany the words. Music to me was always about the words. Words first, more than anything. I guess it's like writing poetry and then turning it into a song so really, songs are just poems being sung. Or at least this is what I envision my songs to be. I wouldn't say I've been influenced by anyone or anything, it's just the way I work. Nothing wrong with that.

Perhaps the reason for my desire to learn the guitar, was to be able to put the melody behind those words. It may not have been for the purpose of purely creating new music but still, that shouldn't be a reason why I shouldn't be learning the guitar. I guess the end product will still be the same to people on the outside, but it's so different from the inside.

Something is wrong with the sum of us
That I can't seem to erase
How can I be the only one
Without a smile on my face

When now you're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight?

You show your pain like it really hurts
And I can't even start to feel mine
And I'm standing in place with my head first
And I shake, I shake and I see your progress
Stretched out for miles and miles

You're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight?

This is the sound that I make
These are the words I chose
But somehow the right thing to say
Just won't come out, just won't come out

And you're laughing out loud
At just the thought of being alive
And I was wondering
Could I just be you tonight?

It's recess week and I'm swamped with crazy amounts of projects, assignments, project meetings, and quizzes to study for.

So, if you actually have time to go out during recess week, to enjoy yourself, YOU ARE NOT BUSY. If you have time to meet up with your friends to catch up, YOU ARE NOT BUSY. If you go out for reasons other than project meetings, YOU ARE NOT BUSY.

THIS IS WHAT BUSY LOOKS LIKE:

1) Market Project - Had an online meeting last night till 11 plus pm and then we have to research on our company and we're meeting on Wednesday at 2pm.

2) Risk Project - Just did my part of the preparation work on Friday, met this evening for a meeting and have been delgated more work to do by tmr night and Tuesday night (yes, two different datelines for two different tasks). Another meeting on Wednesday at 7pm, after Marketing meeting.

3) Risk Presentation - Prepared and did a little bit this evening with the team. Presentation on Tuesday when school reopens.

4) Company Law Corporate Governance Assignment - To research on company and write a 1500 word essay by Wednesday when school reopens.

5) Chemistry Mid Terms - 40%. Obviously I have to mug my ass off for Chemistry. Mid terms on Wednesday when school reopens (yes, same day as Company Law dateline and one day after Risk Presentation)

6) Accounting Excel Quiz - Must review and study the excel worksheet. Quiz on Friday, two days after all the abovementioned things due on Wednesday!

7) Risk Mid Term - 30th March, study study study!

8) Marketing Project Presentation - 31st March

9) Risk Project dateline - 11 April

10) Marketing case presentation - 14 April

Oh, and then exams start on 9th May and end on 20th May. Internship starts on 23rd May and ends on 29th July. And then school starts again on 1st August. BUSY MUCH?

Feel damn lousy. I can't even stalk someone fully now. No traces anywhere. Goodness, do you even exist or I am imagining you in my head? Maybe someone's better at hiding than I am at finding.

Ohohoh, recess week is next week! I'm already in a holiday mood so erm, pre-recess week week celebrations! HAHA! I know recess week is going to be hell week but I might as well make the best out of it than sulk every moment through right? Right?! And to kick of recess week celebrations, bitch buddy and I are scheduled to do The Godfather Marathon! All three movies! Can't walk to go stock up on supplies. Hope they have my Ruffles at Shop and Save! :D

Guitar is going errrr, okay I guess? I'm actually quite glad I picked it up cuz I'm at least trying to find some time everyday to practice a little so it's a good form of de-stress as of now. Hopefully it won't turn into a distress in the future. Gonna take my time with Johnnie (my acoustic. I have plans to name my next guitar Sara!!) and just OTOT. No rush right? I'm not competing with anybody here so might as well enjoy the ride. Hopefully I won't screw up All About You this thursday though!

Okay, sleep time! I have an 8.30am lecture! I hope this week flies by really fast! And hopefully my ec will sit in for risk lesson again!!! Omg, did the 11:11 magic work last friday? Holy beef ball balony! Oh, background: I was doing my accounting quiz last friday and when I looked up to check the time, it was 11:11am. And for the whole week, I totally didn't get a glimpse of my ec and when I sat down at my usual risk table, there he was! Haha!

Byeeee!

Maybe it's getting to me. The stress. I feel this vent-up frustration building within me, threatening to burst out at some very unfortunate victim. I guess it's probably because it's a stressful week for me: 2 datelines and 2 quizzes.

And I can feel something coming. Something very major-league-asshole-level kind of thing. I guess I just have to mentally prepare myself for it. If you're an asshole, I can be an even bigger one. I guess I've won many battles before so this one should be okay to handle. Just need to get myself in the right state of mind to start formulating strategies. I hope that it won't start at all though, cause I really need to focus on my studies.

I've resorted to new age again. Really helps sooth my nerves and refocus my thoughts and concentration. Kinda miss my CD player because now I need my laptop on to play my songs and I get distracted way too easily by my laptop (hence I'm typing this post when I'm supposed to be studying for my ethics quiz tmr). Oh, mock me for listening to new age. Whatever. It's what floats my boat. Deal with it. (New age wise, I want to meet Chester Tan, Singapore's new age piano composer. He's my dad's colleague's husband or something. Too complicated to remember. I've got an autographed album of his!)

Okay bye. Time to brush on on my ethics and smoke screen!